Monday, October 16, 2006

125. Toenail or not Toenail? That is the Question.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail AND if I told you you would feel no pain, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail and if I told you you would feel no pain AND there would be no blood, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail and if I told you you would feel no pain and there would be no blood AND you wouldn’t even be able to pinpoint when it happened, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail and if I told you you would feel no pain and there would be no blood and you wouldn’t even be able to pinpoint when it happened AND it would happen during the course of doing something you loved, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail and if I told you you would feel no pain and there would be no blood and you wouldn’t even be able to pinpoint when it happened and it would happen during the course of doing something you loved AND that something you loved would be flag football, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail and if I told you you would feel no pain and there would be no blood and you wouldn’t even be able to pinpoint when it happened and it would happen during the course of doing something you loved and that something you loved would be flag football AND you wouldn’t even know it until you took off your pair of cleats, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail and if I told you you would feel no pain and there would be no blood and you wouldn’t even be able to pinpoint when it happened and it would happen during the course of doing something you loved and that something you loved would be flag football and you wouldn’t even know it until you took off your pair of cleats AND you could save the toenail on your dresser until you could get a chance to photograph it, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail and if I told you you would feel no pain and there would be no blood and you wouldn’t even be able to pinpoint when it happened and it would happen during the course of doing something you loved and that something you loved would be flag football and you wouldn’t even know it until you took off your pair of cleats and you could save the toenail on your dresser until you could get a chance to photograph it AND if you knew your toes were totally healthy before the incident and there were no fungi or nuthin’, would you do it?

Interviewee: No.

Interviewer: If I told you you would lose a toenail and if I told you you would feel no pain and there would be no blood and you wouldn’t even be able to pinpoint when it happened and it would happen during the course of doing something you loved and that something you loved would be flag football and you wouldn’t even know it until you took off your pair of cleats and you could save the toenail on your dresser until you could get a chance to photograph it and if you knew your toes were totally healthy before the incident and there were no fungi or nuthin’ AND if I told you your wife Limpy would accidently knock the toenail off the dresser while grabbing for the TV remote and the toenail would fall to an unknown location and there would be very little chance you would recover it for the photo op and it would resurface three years later having grown and mutated in the sewer to attack and traumatize the whole town, would you do it?

Interviewee: Well…Yes.

Sorry no photo.

8 comments:

The McCulloch Family said...

Sick.

davecharliebrown said...

You're sorry, but we're not.

daltongirl said...

I started to get queasy when I thought there was going to be a photo, but I was still laughing my head off. Thank your wife Limpy for me please.

daltongirl said...

For future reference, potpouri is not a word. Potpourri is.

Word verification = dghhil, which I'm pretty sure means "heil daltongirl!"

Th. said...

.

Hahaha!

Rhodeshack said...

Bananas and fudge will never be the same.
I think I'll google some images of shingles to get my appetite back.

Cicada said...

Toread or not toread... I read it because I trust you (sortof) but I was wrong. So wrong.

barb said...

i read all that and NO PHOTO?!?!?!?