Wednesday, June 20, 2007

172. On Account of the Water and of the Air.

So.

It’s here. I’m going to spend a few days in Trinidad, starting tomorrow. Last time I went to Trinidad, I broke out in hives all over. Benadryl was my best friend that week. The quandary: If you get a medical condition in Trinidad, do you go to the foreign doctor’s office to get treated, or do you risk death and wait until you arrive home? I just used the Benadryl like I had the anaphylactic shock and it cleared up before I arrived home.

The bad part is I don’t even know what I was allergic to. Could it be the water? I mean, they do collect rain water FROM OFF THE ROOF and collect it in big barrels, which, yes, are connected directly to the tap. I might have the peanut allergy, since my mom has the peanut allergy, and Trinidad has the bestest peanuts in the whole wide world. They are pan fried in butter and salted and they make me think of heaven. But am I allergic to them? Could be, that’s the first thing I ate when I got off the plane last time.

I might be allergic to…wait for it…humidity. “Yeah right,” you say, “You can’t be allergic to water and air,” and I say, “Why not?” in a defensive tone, “If the New York Knicks can be allergic to success and if the blog nation can be allergic to reality, I can have a humidity allergy.

Anyhoo, and not like you’ve had to wait 2 weeks since the last post anyway, but if you don’t hear from me in a while it’s because I’m on vacation.

OR

Anyhoo, and not like you’ve had to wait 2 weeks since the last post anyway, but if you don’t hear from me in a while it’s because I died on vacation on account of the water and air.

It’s a choose-your-own-adventure blog post. Only YOU can decide which ending is best (and prevent forest fires).

(Pictures to come.) Thanks, Smokey!

Friday, June 08, 2007

171. Steak You Can Cut with Plastic Utensils.

Marinate 5-6 steaks in:

  • the juice of two limes (with pulp)
  • 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (now with extra virgins!)
  • 2 cloves crushed garlic
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • crushed red pepper to taste (use a little more than you think you'll need--it gets cooked off)
  • a palmful of tarragon
  • two drops of orange extract
  • black pepper to taste (use a little more than you think you'll need--it gets cooked off)
  • 1 tbsp brown sugar
  • a pinch of crushed dill weed
  • a pinch of crushed coriander
  • 3-4 grains of anise seed
  • and a pinch of cumin

Mix marinade well and pour over the steaks. Marinate overnight.

Cook (BBQ preferably) on very high heat until the inside is slightly pink.

Invite your neighbors over and throw the steaks at them...

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

170. Kiss, Click, Giggle.

So here's a fun game my brother and I used to play. Remember we were seven (7) and five (5) respectively:

And before I get into the details, let me also say that this game is still fun--even for adults--and you can play at parties. All you need is a TV, a remote, and some Windex. (My brother and I used to play without Windex.)

What you do is kiss the TV screen, then change the channel. When the channel changes, invariably you will be kissing Richard Simmons, or a televangelist, or somebody else who is really messed up. Keep in mind though, that when my brother and I used to play this game, we were seven (7) and five (5) respectively and it was 1979. So the people we were prone to see on the screen were people like Richard Simmons, or a televangelist, or somebody else who is really messed up.

So next time you have a get-together, try your luck at it.

Kiss, Click, Giggle. The game the whole family can enjoy!

Friday, June 01, 2007

169. Envirolet?


In case you don't get to my site three (3) times per day, my sidebar has randomly assigned ads provided by Ads by Google.

Well, this is my most recent, and current favorite ad.

My question is this: isn't that color bad for the environment? Furthermore, any human waste receptacle that is advertised with the word "Amazing!" is definitely worth the money. I don't know why you all don't already own the envirolet, but it's time to go out and getcherself one.

Hop to!