Tuesday, May 13, 2008

182. Martes Trece (13)

In Spain they don’t celebrate Friday the Thirteenth (13th) on Friday. Naturally, they celebrate it on Tuesday. Like you’re supposed to.

So today, in honor of Martes Trece (13), please do not:

• let a fan blow on the back of your neck
• go out while the moon is full
• cut your fingernails (good advice, no matter what day it is)
• shake hands in a group while two other people are already shaking hands (in other words, don’t form a cross with two handshakes)
• don’t wear yellow—especially yellow spandex (I added that last part myself)
• get married
• kill your pig

And remember to keep your child’s hair uncut until he or she learns to speak, or you may cut off some of their intelligence instead of just their hair.

Why Tuesday and not Friday? I don’t know, same reason the Spaniards speak with a lisp—probably a despotic king who also happened to be stupid somewhere back in time. All I know is that the movie series Friday the Thirteenth (13th) flopped horribly in Spain, but when they recalled the film and renamed it Tuesday the Thirteenth (13th) (Martes Trece (13) in Spanish), it was wildly successful. Go figure.

Also in this weekend’s news was my horrible attempt at becoming an amputee. I don’t want to get into details, but let’s just say my tendons are all intact, but they almost stared death in the face. I wish the story was kinda cool, but it involved a screaming kid, a sunburn and a can of corn, so you can make your own conclusions...

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